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My May Meditation Diaries

Writer: Emer PatemanEmer Pateman

Updated: May 27, 2020

"Quiet the mind and the soul will speak." - Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati


Meditation and mindfulness practices are something I’ve been wanting make a habit of for years, but it never stuck. I’d dabble in it, even write it on my to-do list so I could see it in black and white, but still the day would go by and I would not get around to it. I researched the benefits of #meditation and mindfulness and they truly fascinated me, but I could never seem to find that important 10 minutes a day to do it. 10 minutes! That’s all I was asking of myself!


Well to use my time in Lockdown wisely, I enrolled in Yale University’s free on-line course - The Science of Happiness. (I couldn’t recommend this enough by the way if happiness and well-being interests you). Each week there is homework, practical activities designed to change your thinking or behaviours and, in Week 5, the homework consisted of meditating for 10 minutes a day for a week. Well, no better opportunity to finally tick it off the to-do list and try and begin rewiring my brain to form a new daily meditation habit!


First though, why are meditation and mindfulness practices so important? Well the first thing mentioned on the course was that it helps stop mind wandering, which can have a negative impact on happiness. Studies reported that people mind-wander 46.9% of their waking hours. and it can kick in a lot when we are engaged in an attention-demanding task. Meditation techniques can help with this as we are turning our attention away from distracting thoughts toward a single point of reference, such as the breath, bodily sensations, gratitude or compassion. Meditation helps you focus on the present and curbs mind wandering. Studies on people who meditate regularly show that the effects of meditation go beyond the moment of meditation and change the default pattern throughout the day so you can be more focused on the present moment.


It also helps build brain tissue and strengthens our brains over time. A study on grey matter before and after an 8 week meditation study showed a big boost in the size of the grey matter in the group who meditated for 30 minutes a day. MentalHealth.org also report that #mindfulness meditation affects the brain and its structure and that people undertaking mindfulness training "have shown increased activity in the area of the brain associated with positive emotion." (mentalhealth.org)


Meditation is used by people to combat stress and depression. Studies have shown that it doesn't just decrease feelings of stress but is linked with a decrease in the stress hormone, cortisol. Mindfulness and meditation practices are also said to increase cognitive function. Those who practice loving kindness and compassion meditations have been reported to do more good. It can help with weight loss goals, help you sleep better and even reduce your risk of illness.


Right then, enough reasons to give it a proper shot! I started the practice really excited about the prospect of forming this new habit and decided to keep a diary of how I felt after each meditation. To challenge myself even further, I didn’t stop after the seven days. I chose to use this opportunity to test out Insight Timer as I had heard good things about the app. I meditated at different times of day to see if the after effects differed. I committed to meditate for the rest of the month to see if I noticed a difference in my attitude or to how approached my day.


Monday, 04th May

Loving kindness meditation (this one was part of the Science of Wellbeing course). We are off to a good start, I liked this one! I was guided to express loving kindness to myself, then a close friend, then a stranger, then someone who has frustrated or disappointed me (not condoning their actions but seeing them as a human being with some of the same needs as me), then all people. This meditation really made me feel at peace and I felt calm afterwards.

Tuesday, 05th May

Gratitude meditation (again for Science of Wellbeing) - appreciate your body and all it has done for you. Think of people close to you and that value you. People that bother or have hurt you. Accept that they all have a part to play in your life. This was a nice one. As I've been practicing gratitude more often lately (part of the course homework), it was a nice extension to the gratitude homework.

Wednesday, 06th May

Body Scan Meditation - final meditation provided by the course. This one had me focusing on the whole body, then each part of the body before focusing on the whole body again. This was great for noticing areas of tension in the body and consciously relaxing them. Very nice relaxing self-awareness exercise.


Thursday, 07th May

Insight timer - sleep meditation. This was simply an Om chanting 7 minute meditation. I usually like silence to go to sleep to but I have to say listening to this put me in a beautifully sleepy state.

Friday, 08th May - Om chanting again. Forgot to meditate during the day and didn't remember until I was already in bed with the lights out so for ease, I just popped on the chanting again. Fell into a lovely sleep afterwards.


Saturday, 09th May - I forgot to meditate all day, again! My motivation and excitement that I had starting off with the course meditations seems to have gone. I still managed to meditate, remembered right before bed so chose a sleep time one for 5 minutes because I was so tired going to bed. Chose badly, didn't like her voice at all and found myself focusing more on that than anything else. Not how meditation is supposed to work.

Sunday, 10th May

And we're back on track! I used Insight Timer and meditated late morning. It was one called 'Get Your Glow On'. The speaker first brings your attention to relaxing each body part in turn, then relaxing any areas where you notice tension. Then you bring your attention to your heart space, notice it glowing and imagine that light travelling to each part of your body until you are all aglow with positive light from your heart. Then you picture it travelling out through the top of your head and reaching all those around you. Breathe in light and breathe out negativity and anger. This was a nice visualisation and I felt light afterwards. This meditation lark might really be the key to happiness after all!


Monday, 11th May - Insight Timer - I chose one by the same person as yesterday called 'Manifest Your Deepest Desires.' I did this before bed which was great as she talked you through dreaming big and visualising your perfect life, talking you through each area of your life. I went to bed believing I could achieve each and every one of my desires and woke up with them on my mind.


Tuesday, 12th May - chakra meditation - didn’t love the speaker or how she described the chakras exactly but, as I had started, I decided to just go with it and it still was nice to focus on those points. I have done chakra meditations before that I loved so will try again but with someone else. Starting to wonder how I couldn't ever find 10 minutes a day to sit in silence now.


Wednesday, 13th May - today it was Letting Go of Your Worries. Didn’t click with speaker (seems to happen a lot - is it them or me?!) I couldn’t focus - don’t know if it was her or my anxieties. I liked the idea of breathing in calm and peace and breathing out worry but I wasn’t feeling it for whatever reason tonight.


Thursday, 14th May - morning meditation for positivity. This was nice and calm. You had to set an intention for the day. She pointed out that this may be the only moment of quiet you have in a day which really resonated with me. In my normal hectic working life it's true, there aren't many moments of calm or stillness. Maybe I’ll try and make it a thing to give myself a few minutes every morning to be still, even if it's on my commute.


Friday, 15th May - Today I tried a Lululemon Finding your Calm meditation. I was talked through two exercises. First, make fists and then relax them and notice the changes. Then he incorporates breathwork while doing the same. The second exercise has you imagining a place where you feel really calm, (my parent's garden in Ireland for me) and imagine how you feel, what you can smell, see, hear and even taste. He leaves you here for a while before bringing you back and says go to this calm place anytime you feel you could do with a moment of calm.


Saturday, 16th May - forgot to meditate. Not going to beat myself up about it. Will just climb back on the horse tomorrow.


Sunday, 17th May - I chose a sleep time meditation on Insight Timer. I had to take all the things that I did today and that were on my mind and all the things that were on my mind for tomorrow and imagine sending them away on a fluffy cloud as the focus of right now is to prepare for sleep. Then I was guided to notice areas of tension and try to relax them. I don't know much more as I completely entered a sleepy state and didn't even notice when she had stopped talking and the meditation was over. This was great for sleep preparation.


Monday, 18th May - Today I used the Just Breathe app for a change as it's been on my phone for a long time and I haven't even opened it. I like listening to Michael James Wong talk about meditation. I've been to some of his live Grand Gathering events that are amazing experiences. The mantra is always Just Breathe. On the inhale say to yourself "just" and on the exhale say "breathe." This is a good intro to meditating without a guide. Although he does talk, he lets you sit in silent meditation for a few minutes too. You can choose music or no music and guide or no guide and between 2, 10 or 20 minutes. I chose 10 as that is what I'm aiming for (for now!) This was lovely, will be revisiting the app.


Tuesday, 19th May - been thinking about life changes a lot recently so I revisited Manifest Your Deepest Desires meditation on #insighttimer It's lovely to take 10 minute to visualise what you want in each area of your life and really feel it.


Wednesday, 20th May - Insight Timer - Confidence Meditation. Once again, the speaker's voice was a distraction Might have been me and where my headspace was today. Shouldn't blame the meditation guides really, I suppose!


Thursday, 21st May - World Meditation Day!

I think I will end my diary here as I'm sure you've got the gist. I'm up and down but in a much better place before I took on this self-challenge when I wasn't doing anything at all. I decided to finish my diary with a bang and did a whopping 20 meditation with Just Breathe. It was AMAZING! I chose to have teacher and music and really stayed present during those times when the teacher was silent. This was just lovely.

Who knows, maybe I'll do a sleep time meditation too and really celebrate the day!


What I learned...

  • Simply knowing meditation is a good thing to do for my wellbeing does not mean I immediately put the practice into place.

  • Don't beat yourself up if you feel you didn't do it right. Michael James Wong says, "There is no such thing as a bad meditation." He's right, you are still taking time out for your mind and soul. Everything improves with practice and there will always be good days and bad days. Just accept them as days.

  • It is easy to think of a hundred other things to do before stopping for 10 minutes to meditate. This meant I often put it off until bedtime when I then convinced myself I was too tired. This I'm sure is a sign I should be meditating more! Like the Zen proverb says, - "You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day - unless you're too busy, then you should sit for an hour."

  • Insight Timer is great for trying out different types of meditation as they have so many and I am making a conscious effort to do this and not just choose a sleep one every day.

  • That said, I find sleep meditations really restful and they do help me wind down and prepare for sleep.

  • While I know I'm not there yet - at the place where I'm looking forward to doing it and not always leaving it 'til the last minute, it is a much more conscious part of my day now and I do actually want to do it. I just need to prioritise it like I prioritise all the other things that I choose to do before I meditate.

  • Going back to working long days and being out of the house from 7am to 7pm will be a challenge. I just about find time to shower and inhale food in the morning and when I get back in the evening it's eat, chores, exercise, call family etc. But this is something I want to fit in now. I will work at it and eventually it will become a habit I'm sure. There's lunchtime and commutes, and plenty more opportunities to meditate. Thank goodness for headphones!

  • I haven't noticed that I go about my days more calmly or feeling less stressed but I didn't expect to after only two weeks. I definitely do feel a lovely sense of calm in the immediate aftermath though. Let me get back to you in a year about whether I feel it's changed how I react to things!

 
 
 

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