2019 is drawing to a close and for me, the post Christmas quiet is a perfect time for reflecting on the past year before looking ahead and setting goals for the new year to come. I love to go out for some peaceful walks by the sea with my dog and remind myself of what I've achieved and what I've learned, think about what I want to keep working towards and decide what it's time to let go of.
Here are some of my reflections on 2019...
1. Coaching works - it really does! I know this, of course I do, I'm a coach. But it's not so easy to coach yourself. So this year, I got a coach and it was the best decision I could have made. There's so much I want to achieve and setting small achievable actions towards my goals is the only way I'll get there. Pre-coach I would write down my goals and then break them down into actions and then at the end of the week feel dejected at how much I didn't do. Having a coach means I'm accountable to somebody else as well as myself, and I do not want to let them (or me) down. I was so much more productive in the second half of the year and it's all down to my coach (and me of course!)
2. I've learned not to be so hard on myself. The great thing about life is, we can try again tomorrow. Do I have regrets from 2019? Of course! But I'm not going to allow myself to ruminate on them. Instead I will learn from them. I will decide what I am going to do about it and then I will go and do that. But I want to let the regretful feeling that eats away at me go. Don't beat yourself up about things you can't change, you do not have control over time, you can't turn it back. So look forwards and plan for the future.
3. Take one step. Just one.
There, that's the hardest part over. I learned this year that the first step is the hardest but when you take it, just see how much easier steps 2 and beyond are to take! I am a master procrastinator. We all procrastinate, I get it, but in 2019 I decided to overcome this and I made myself take that first step towards whatever it was I was itching to do but nervous of starting. The idea of creating a website was so daunting - I knew nothing about these kinds of things. But I opened up the website builder and I wrote the first line and before I knew it I had written most of the content in one evening! It wasn't perfect, but I'll talk about that in step 4. The same was true for these blogs. My inner critic said, "You're not a writer. No one will read them." But one night I just decided, this is the night I will begin, I wrote one word, then 100 words and before I knew it, finito! So think about your goals and just do one tiny thing that will move you closer to them. Trust me you will feel so proud of yourself that you'll look forward to taking the next step. Because you started and that is the hardest part.
4. I realised how much easier life was to live when I let go of perfect. 75% - even 50% - is better then 0. After creating my site I waited about 2 months before I pressed the all important 'Publish' button. And then I told a coach I was going to and she asked me when and what time, committing me to it. Then she clinched it with, "Send me the link at 4 p.m. on Sunday then." Good old accountability. I read the content and then re-read it. And it wasn't perfect but I couldn't figure out what would make it perfect. And then, I pressed the button, anyway - Publish - done! I finally realised that to have an imperfect website was 100% better than having no website at all. And now I'm writing my imperfect blogs and I am perfectly happy with them. Perfectly imperfect. Stop trying to be perfect and just go for it. Practice makes perfect... sometimes.
5. Reflection - I chose to reflect in 2019. Each time something went wrong or I had to deal with a difficult situation, instead of worrying myself, I would reflect and ask myself a series of questions. Did I handle that right? Did I say the right thing? Would I do the same thing again? Did I overreact? Self-reflection improves my self-awareness and this leads to self-improvement, more confidence, self-belief and a deeper sense of learning and understanding. Self-reflection also allows me to challenge my assumptions. What I believe is not always what is true and how I see the world is most definitely not how everyone else sees the world.
What are your reflections as the decade comes to an end? What did 2019 teach you? I'd love you to share in the comments!
Letting go of perfect is the best advice!!!!