Back in May, during Lockdown, I was home-schooling my 8-year-old niece. The piece of homework we were on was a poem where the protagonist was a brain and it was talking about growth mindset. I was blown away by this. 8-year olds learning about Growth Mindset! How wonderful is that?! I don't think I learned about it until I started my coaching training. I remember hearing about it and thinking about my fixed mindset tendencies, then asking myself, "Why didn't I know about this years ago?" Earlier this year I read Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck to really embed the concept more deeply.
I believe you can have both mindsets. When it comes to coaching for example and self-development, I believe I will continue to improve and learn from each session I have, course I take and article I read. Total growth mindset! But give me a maths reasoning problem to solve, even one from a primary school maths book, and I will break out in a sweat, remembering how the same problems filled me with dread back in school. My initial thought is, I can’t figure this out.
A growth mindset is a frame of mind and a belief system that intelligence can be trained and that the most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. If I make a mistake, I don’t think it’s because I’m not smart or that I’ll never be able to get it right. I look at the mistake and see why it happened and know that next time, I’ll do something differently. I learn from mistakes and believe I can improve with practice and by putting some effort in. People who possess this mindset show intrinsic motivation; engaging in a behaviour because they like the behaviour itself. Students and professionals with this mindset tend to have higher grades overall and a higher performance increase over time. They don’t let their confidence tumble when they encounter setbacks. They look at what to change, whether they actually worked hard enough, accept the result and work at it, trying harder next time.
A fixed mindset on the other hand, is a belief that talent, skills and abilities are static, fixed, set in stone, and determined at birth. If I make a mistake, I give up, refuse to try again. I’m just not good at it and I never will be. I won’t improve because it’s just something I cannot do. Fixed mindsets hold us back. They prevent us from learning, growing, having new experiences. People who possess this mindset show more extrinsic motivation, engaging in behaviours for the end result, not for the enjoyment of the task. Students and professionals with this mindset get good grades and results only after consistently good performance and get lower grades after a performance drop. Setbacks are a hard knock for this mindset group. This mindset can come with depressive symptoms and can affect work ethic and study. “What’s the point? I’ll never be good at this?” might be a common way they speak to themselves. Fear fuels this mindset, fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of looking inexperienced.
Let’s look at the two mindsets side by side:
Fixed Mindset Growth Mindset
Intelligence is fixed Intelligence can be developed
Desire to look smart Desire to learn
Avoids challenges Embraces challenges
Gives up easily Persists when setbacks occur
Thinks effort is bad Believes effort is good
Ignores feedback/criticism Learns from feedback/criticism
Feels threatened by the success of others Finds lessons and inspiration in the
success of others
Seeks extrinsic motivation Seeks intrinsic motivation
Focused on performance Focused on learning, not outcome
Good performance comes naturally Good performance takes hard work
"If I have to work hard, I’m not smart" "Hard work is how you get better"
Conceals deficiencies and mistakes Uses mistakes as a platform to learn more
Ruminates
Loss of self-worth
I know which camp I’d rather be in. The fixed mindset doesn't look so inviting, does it? Are we at the mercy of our mindsets or can we move from fixed to growth? Can I approach maths reasoning problems with growth mindset? Thankfully, the answer is yes! It may take some work on your part if you want to change your mindset, but you can do it.
First of all, know your fixed mindset triggers. What sets off the negative thoughts and limiting beliefs? When you feel yourself about to engage in negative self-talk, avoid it.
Become friends with the word, “yet” – I can’t do that, yet. Changes things completely.
Acknowledge your imperfections. And those of others. Because we all have them. So embrace them. They are what make us unique.
Reframe your feelings around challenges. Yes, they will be a little difficult (that’s the challenge part) but they are an opportunity to learn and have a new experience. Experiences broaden our view of the world. Be brave and accept the challenge.
Reframe how you speak to yourself. When you make a mistake, instead of telling yourself you’re a no good failure, ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” There is no failure, only feedback. And don't forget about 'yet.'
Speaking of feedback, ask for it. And listen to it. It is not criticism, it is an opportunity to learn and improve.
Don't compare, it’s pointless. We are all different and where you may see someone as so much cleverer than you, you don’t know how hard they worked to get where they are. They weren’t born that clever. They might also be secretly be comparing themselves to you. Live your own story.
Be your authentic self. Do things for the internal validation it gives you and stop seeking external validation. Living authentically will see you do things for the right reasons and you will want to get better at what you do because it brings you enjoyment. It motivates you and you will do things for the right reasons.
Reflect. Try journaling. Write down how you approached tasks that day, if you felt your fixed mindset creeping in. What were the words you were using when it did, what names were you calling yourself? How can you positively reframe them? Paying attention to this will alert you the next time it starts to happen and you can catch yourself before the negative words come out.
So, while it may not be easy, you can develop a growth mindset and learn to mute the negative fixed mindset. Let the world of new experiences open up to you. Believe in yourself and what you can achieve. Because you can achieve anything with the right mindset.
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